fwips:

when you call in to work and your coworker answers the phone in their peppy work voice then realizes its you and goes back to sounding just as dead inside as you are

(via sebstantialvampire)

vinegod:

How to get out of saying the “L” word by Victory Brinker

(via victorytomb)

arctichunkies:

curves on women are great, but curves on final exams are really what get me going

(via tacoposey)

vintage-katie:

"And that’s the kind of friend, if you’re somebody like me, that you need"
vintage-katie:

"And that’s the kind of friend, if you’re somebody like me, that you need"
vintage-katie:

"And that’s the kind of friend, if you’re somebody like me, that you need"

vintage-katie:

"And that’s the kind of friend, if you’re somebody like me, that you need"

(via stand-up-comic-gifs)

“HERA: who is this
ZEUS: who is what
HERA: who is this naked youth
ZEUS: youre going to have to be more specific
HERA: the one at your feet
ZEUS: oh
him
what about him
HERA: where did he come from
ZEUS: where did any of us come from
you know?
could be from the sea
or my own head
or spit up by an angry snake
hard to tell
HERA: did you kidnap him for sex
ZEUS: what
no
what?
HERA: did he kidnap you for sex
ZEUS: no
he’s
my cup guy
this is Ganymede, Official Cup Holder
he holds the cups
HERA: really
ZEUS: youve been saying forever that we need a guy to hold all the cups we use
HERA: i’ve never said that
ZEUS: someones been saying it
i just thought id save us all a little trouble
HERA: why isn’t he holding any cups
ZEUS: what
HERA: if he’s s the cup holder why doesn’t he have a cup to offer me
i’m thirsty
ZEUS: I’m
EARTHQUAKE
[ZEUS raises his hands and all of Mount Olympus begins to shake violently. HERA is trapped underneath a falling rock]
ZEUS: sorry babe
cant hear you over all this earthquake”

lakidaa:

i like how his mom is immediately on his side and about to getaway car them off 

(via tyleroakley)

“Three o’clock. Three o’clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.”
— Jean-Paul Sartre (La Nausée, 1938)

(via murphybed)

A shipper life

lumos5000-getsspooky:

porraryanross:

shipper:

image

shipper’s friends:

image

pretty much this

(via im-sooo-changable)

iguanamouth:

boys becoming men

men becoming wolves

(via victorytomb)